Why Romance?

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

Here is a simple equation for romance:

Love + desire + creativity - you= romance

This may prove surprising. You are probably wondering why it is minus you and not plus you. The reason is because romance is NOT about you. It's about her. If you tell yourself that you are not the romantic type, get over it. It's not about you, it's about her. If she likes romance, you need to become a romantic.

I'm sure you feel like I'm not being fair. But I challenge women to become something for their men as well. If you like to eat, I think she should learn how to boil water or dial the hell out of some numbers to produce dinner. If you like lingerie, she should make an effort to purchase and wear something lacy or skanky (depending on your taste). Trust me, there is a give and take here. However, you are more likely to get that boiled water or lacy underwear when you are turning her world into a romantic fantasy.

So, now that we covered why your feelings about romance don't matter. Let's get to creativity. Some women are easy. Flowers or plants will do. If she has a hobby, buy new materials for her hobby. You don't have to be outrageous unless you have the type of woman that will appreciate it. Some women are embarrassed by grand gestures. But, if you have a woman that is game and you are creative, enjoy yourself. Go Big. Make moments. Creativity is really about making moments. Create the type of moments that you will hear her telling your daughter and granddaughter. When you do that, you go down in history and set the expectations for the boyfriends and husbands in your daughter or granddaughter's future. They will long for the type of romance you created and you become a legend. Maybe it is about you, after all.

Love. If you love your girlfriend or wife, you probably enjoy seeing her happy. If happy is good for you, over the moon will have you puffing out your chest in pride.  In life, you may never win an Oscar or a Grammy but if you can make a difference in the life of someone you love, it comes with its own rewards. She will have the memory of how she felt during the event and you will have the memory of how happy you made her. When you're both old and gray, even if she can't remember where she left her glasses, she will still be able to recall that day that you made her fall in love all over again. And that is priceless.

Desire, Desire is probably the hardest thing to hold on and generate in a relationship. The longer you stay together and the more you get to know each other, the mystery that sparks excitement can slowly disappear. As the last ember dies out, desire will fade like a ghost as well. Think about it If someone gave you your favorite food every day for a year. It would be great, at first. Over time, you know what to expect. You know what it's going to taste like. You lose your desire to have that meal. But, add some variety and that meal is suddenly desired again. Don't get me wrong, there is a comfort in being with the same person. But, if you keep the desire between you, it makes life that much sweeter. I always carry this vivid image of the Cosby Show. Cliff was a doctor and Claire was a lawyer and they had five children. They had every reason to be TOO TIRED to do anything. Yet, while Cliff was sitting on the couch relaxing, he would put his wife's feet into his lap and massage her feet. It's endearing to see how much he values his wife. A real-life image that mirrors this is Barack Obama and Michelle Obama. You can see it in their eyes as they look at each other or when President Obama is checking out (yes, he's checking her out) his wife from afar. If he can lead the country and still make time to romance his wife, you have absolutely NO excuse.